She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
