that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
