We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
