Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
