haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
