Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
