So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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