not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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