I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
