I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
