The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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