I think i peed on brittanys purse
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
