the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
