yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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