Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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