plz talk dirty to me
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
