So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize