I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I am available for nakedness
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
