Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
