As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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