Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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