Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
