My friends, they love my intelligence
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
