I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
