Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
