Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
