I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
