Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
