Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
God gave him joint rollers for hands
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
