They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize