I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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