There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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