hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
