even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
