the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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