I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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