At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
