Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
