Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
