took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Come share oat with me in your robe
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
