Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
