anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
