i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize