By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
