Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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