sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize