apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
