He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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