okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
