ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
3 2 1 whiskey
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
