I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
