I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
