Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
