Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
