Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
