party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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