...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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