Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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