The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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