Pappa wants mamma naked
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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