the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
