wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize