wrigley field is MILF paradise
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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