Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
