Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
