i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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