So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
