I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
