Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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