I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
