it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
