You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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