i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
