dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
