Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Barsexuality is the new black.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
