Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Randomize
